My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
