the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
