is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
