We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I've blown a few things in my day
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize