whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
