I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
