you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
They took my balls.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
