I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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