After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The air was thick with penises
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
