I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
