Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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