he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I think my fart just growled at me.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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