you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
