Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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