umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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