Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
