took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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