would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We were destined to go to rehab together
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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