I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
