I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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