i love accidental penises.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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