He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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