He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
