you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
