i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
