I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
