yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i've created a new STD.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
