My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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