quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
