Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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