5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
