You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
