dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
