I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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