We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
