I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
