it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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