By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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