Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
No more Irish car bombs ever.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Can you bring me the toilet please
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
