I cockslap morals
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize