so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
40s are totally the cure
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
