Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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