id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
