i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
