i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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