He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize