Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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