so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
