Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
