party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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