But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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