Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
