People in love make me want to vomit
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
3pm strippers are depressing
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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