now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
