He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
