she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
