Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
