its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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