sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Porn is love you can see.
you would pick up someone in the library
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Still dying that you shit outside
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
