420 ftw
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
