No, drunk sperm still make babies.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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